Here's another new trick I can do

I want to be somebody new....

You may have already read about blowing the fuse in the car on the way to Toronto, upsetting the alarm, and the PT. I believe I was mission Control in that episode.

Well today one of my Carpool-ees asked what the power locks button did on the car and I said she could touch it (famous last words) and the next thing I knew the fuse blew again. It was like De Ja Vu, again. I think there must be a short in the button on that door.

But what to do, what to do? Do I go back to the alarm place, even though I had left there mere hours before and the fuse was whole then - I thought they might get too tired of me before I actually have them fix the stereo, so that was a no. *See below*

I know - Why don't I try to fix it myself. I saw the "man" do it last week and it didn't take him more than a minute. So I drove to the Advance Auto Shop, removed the cover from the fuse box and tried to fathom the secrets of the fuse box schematics. I decided to pull out the one next to the Pwr Wdws (which was labelled Pwr Accs) and it looked like toast. I took it in and got a box of five for $2.58 (US). Popped that baby back in and it all was good.

I have to tell you when I called the car alarm/stereo shop and told them I needed my car back (the part should be in by Friday) - he said I could come and get it (oh thank you) - but when I got there the CD player was in pieces on the car seat, the DVD player (at least that's what it looked like) was next to it, but still attached, and the back junction box was ripped out of the wall, for no reason I can think of. The mechanic (that's being kind)'s tools, like screwdriver and cordless drill screwdriver were all over the back, so I am thinking he doesn't want me to drive away just yet.

Sure enough, comes out and says "I didn't know you were coming back for the car" (yeah, why don't you just hold onto it for another two days) and he starts putting things back together. I managed to put the back junction box back in the wall, but there were screws on the floor that needed to be put back in. So when he finished I politely asked him to pass me the cordless drill and proceeded to fix the junction box to the floor. Little did I know this would earn the mechanic's respect and admiration - "Oh man, we got to hook you up for a job, you do that betta dan Ricky hea". I do a lot of things better than Ricky, like for example and I chew gum and think at the same time. But I digress.......

I'm thinking about going in for a new line of work. I hear you get two weeks off for Deer Hunting season.

My next post is going to be on the wonderful life of Carpool. So get your Erma Bombeck handy------

Out of the Frying Pan....

Since by now you have all read the blow by blow on the PT blog, I will leave you with a few morsels of vital information gleaned on the road trip.

1. Canada - omit.

There is nothing you need in Canada (specifically Toronto) that you can't find in an English speaking country. I have previously waxed prosiacally on the price of gas and Miles Per Gallon. The only thing that could complicate this further was if we paid in Dollars per Litre (sic) and then made the dollars equal to .8 of a real dollar. Not to mention, they have the annoying habit of changing the price of gas hourly. My sister says the price goes down after 10 p.m, but who wants to pump gas after 10.

Good Point, This only proves that Toronto is a backward country that has failed to evolve. I still don't know what the hell a kilometer is and why anybody needs them, how fast is 100 km/hour (don't any of you tell me, cause I no longer care) My kids don't know how to pronounce sortie (which is the exit, which we missed, twice).

I just want to say one more thing about Canada before I leave the subject and that is The Queen. She is the Queen of England, or the British Empire, none of which involve Canada. It is not a province, not even a territory. In fact, the Queen doesn't give a damn about Canada, so maybe you should all move on and put pictures of birds and pyramids on your money like everyone else.

2. Abba's restaurant in Cleveland -

And a big thank you to that crowd, because the PT has finally decided maybe it would be good to try someplace new. Besides the wait, and not giving us water when we come in from Pennsylvania and it is 98 degrees outside - Treat me like you don't want my business. Hey, this was not a freebie, I was paying for that hunk of cow,(please see the picture if you don't believe me) and for my husband and my six children, which is no light check. If you don't want my business, just say so -

wait a minute, you did.

And one of you comments was on the right track, because I can carry out of NY, double wrap, and warm stuff up when we get to the hotel. Works for me. We got cold cuts from Buffalo to eat in Syracuse where we stayed the second night and ate at the hotel and it worked great, and I didn't have to leave a tip for someone who couldn't get the water glasses to the table.

3. Driving.

Guilty - I hate mountains. Luckily, living in Wisconsin, the problem doesn't come up very often. but now and then you turn a corner on route 17 and there is a big sucker in front of you, and then the floor goes down a 45 degree angle and there is a sign that says "Fallen Rock" - Thank you, that was so helpful. The only thing worse then driving through the mountains is letting Mark drive through the Mountains and now I will tell you why.

Because he likes to look at the mountains.

Also Ferraris and other roadside curiousities, but not the road. also, he thinks he is driving a Geo Prism and not a Battle Tank. There is a slight difference in the center of gravity and quite a difference in the braking distance - to quote an old friend -

A boat of this size doesn't exactly stop on a dime.

So, I got to watch a movie. Also, I got Ohio. which is fine with me, they don't have any mountains either.

4. And finally, New York Traffic.

All you have to do when you wax nostalgic for the days when you were "in the game" is sit in traffic for an hour and then you're cured. Many times on the expressway (dysingenous name that it is) I just wanted to stop the car, get out and say "What the hell is going on now?" Maybe that is what causes all the accidents. I don't know. Everyone there feels that if they personally do not cross on the next green light they will stop breathing. I think they need a little vacation or a jagged little pill, because basically, it will turn green again, in like 40 seconds or so. I know it will. Really.

The Electric Company

This happened a year ago so the story can now be told without lawsuits resulting.

It was before Shavuous and we had been having a problem with the lights flickering off and on, particularly when the fridge kicked in or the AC or something. We thought we had too much on one circuit, so I had an electrictian come in and split off some circuits, I think he split off the garage and garage light, for hundreds of dollars. But still the lights flickered. Over Shavuous when we had company it was very annoying. My neighbor thought we might have a problem with the power coming into the house, so after Shavous I called the Electic Company to report the problem, it was roughly 930 p.m or so, so I figured I would get on the schedule for the next day which would be a Friday. Little did I know what kind of Friday it would turn out to be.

I was sitting in the living room (aka frontroom) watching a bad Danielle Steele movie (you thought the books were bad, try the movies), when something drove by on the street with flashing lights that was roughly the size of something Patton drove into France with. I would have thought it was a snow plow, but being that it was just after Shavuous, that would have been a stretch. About five minutes later, shortly after 1030, the back doorbell rings, then the knocking.

Well that's never a good thing.

It was the Man from the Electric Company. I had to draw on charicatures, but this was out of central casting. He had a big belly hanging over his pants, the yellow/orange safty vest, complete with hardhat, ID tag on his safety vest and cokebottle glasses. He also spoke with a lisp and had the tendency to look past you when he spoke. His partner was out back and he had parked the tank in the alley. The PT was in the basement, oblivious to this all.

"Did you caw the Electwic Company - we came as soon as we cud." If my power were out for 3 days, they would come five days later, but here at 11 p.m. they responded without delay. "I haf ta take a wook at your cicwit bweaker box".

Well, says I, come on in - Ah Honey, the Power Company is here--- He barely turned from the x-box. I took him to the dungeon to show him the box. There was a lot of Ah huh, ohs, hummm, and stuff, and then he finds the problem.

"Ya thee Maam, heas the pwoblem wight hea. This hea is a bad bweaker. Thee the scorch mawks on the powa baw. We gotta take this out. Which bweaker do you wan me ta use?" The dishwasher says I. Does this mean I need an electrician to come out and put in a new bweaker tomorrow?

"Naw, you can do this yaself - jus take this hea bad bweaker to the hadwea stowa and tell dem you wan a new one. Then take this wiya hea and twist that scwu, den you pop it bak in like so, and do the same wit the dishwasher ciwcuit and youa good to go. Jus don touch the powa baw in da back dare cuz dat has 120 vowts in it and yud be toast. You have a nice nite."

Well, by now the PT is in bed, but the powa is on, so that's good. The next I called an electrician, to find out if he had the defective part and he told me to go to the hadwea stowa, you don't need us, you can do this yuaself. (It was a funny thing to say, considering we never met). But I figure, what's the worst that could happen? It is after all Friday. So my mother picks up the defective piece and brings it over. We go down the basement and take the cover off the breaker box.

"Now," I tell her, "Hold the flashlight here, and if something happens, don't touch me until I fall to the floor, Got that?" My mom looks at me and says "You think so, huh?"

Well, I took the wiya and put it behind the scwu and twisted it in and den popped it into place and then I did the same for the dishwasher and it worked, and the powa was on and it wasn't flickering or nothin.

Then, later that day, the PT came home and said "How was your day deah?"