DMV - Dept of Morons at Work

I took eldest daughter to the DMV to get her Permit. In the following paragraph we will address what she now has permission to do, but you have to wait to get to the good stuff. First, we have to spend 2 hours at the DMV. I want to know what test you have to take to work here. I think it goes something like this.

1. How long can you scratch your butt, really?
2. Can you move from one desk to another at <3>
3. Do you have acrylic nails and do you wear nail jewlery, are said nails a minimum of 3" in length?
4. Can you read English?
5. Do you know what state this is, you may chose from the list of 50.
6. Can you scratch your butt again?
7. Extra Credit - Can you find your butt? You can use both hands.

At the DMV in Wisconsin you need to stop at the information desk before you proceed to wait for a counter. You need to show all your stuff to the Service Representitive at the Information Desk so that they can give you a number. Then you may commence waiting. Also, the numbers are prefaced with an A, B, C (those being the first 3 letters of the English alphabet) and the next person called can be called from either cue to proceed to a random window. Do not try to figure it out, Boolean logic never heard of the DMV, which is fair, because no one there has heard of Boolean logic.

But I digress...

Daughter's biggest mistake was trying to slide by a form with an empty box. Empty box=bad. That was in the manual. So she did not get a number. Mom's biggest mistake was not checking Daughter's form before letting her exit the car. Anyway, we had a 70 minute wait for a computer to take the test on (there were 5 available computers, but they weren't Set up until finally when I said we were leaving, the Service Representative said "Oh, you ready now baby?" and pressed a button on the screen that said "Press here to start test" and then the machine was set up.

It took 7 minutes for her to take the test, then we, GOT A NUMBER to get in line. That took 10 minutes, then we got in line for her card, which has no picture on it. Then we got her card and left. Total time 2 hours.

The rule for the DMV is you may not leave until you are so frustrated, aggravated and annoyed and generally pissed off so that you want to hit someone, then you can go.

Now back to the Permit. Daughter can now get behind the wheel of a car and practice driving. Though not my car and I will not be driving with her anytime soon. I am permitted to send her with a driving teacher, who gets paid more than I make an hour, and probably deserves every penny. Also Bubbe has promised to take her driving, although she was 14 when Bubbe made the promise, we intend to hold her to it.

You all have been warned and are now permitted to get off the sidewalk.

Then when I get the mail today, it said my tank needs to pass emmission inspection. Like lemon on a paper cut.

Foot-note: The PT was with us the whole time and made very little fuss, considering a had a pound of bugles with us. Also, PT's dad is due to go to the DMV to get his DL renewed. Although he doesn't want to. I can't imagine why.

Another SPAM story

This happened yesterday:

You may already know I teach a Jewish Aerobic Dance course for frum women in the community at an aerobic studio called Body Tuning. Said forum is located behind a building adjacent to a Radio Shack, with parking behind the Radio Shack for aerobics clients.

As I approached the corner for my left turn I noticed two things:

1. There were no less than 8 police squads in front of RadioShack. This, I am sure, constitutes the bulk of the Wauwatosa Police Force, and
2. There was a giant can of Spam turning right in front of me, into the Radio Shack parking lot.

The Spam-mobile continued to the parking lot to the rear of RadioShack and proceeded to park in "all" the spaces that are there. Please see http://www.spammobile.com/ for a picture of this thing, trusts me, it takes the whole lot.

As I was expected women to start pulling up, I decided to politely ask the driver to "move his spam". Out of the "vehicle" descended a man with a long white beard, jeans with a requisite 5" belt buckle. Who told me, "Not to worry, just running into RadioShack for a quick fix". I submitted that I didn't know if RadioShack was receiving custom just now, and at that, his trip would be quicker than I needed.

But alas, a crowd had gathered with cell/camera phones and was proceeding to take pictures. So I went into Body Tuning where the previous class was just breaking up. Leaving the door ajar, I said, "Hey girls, want to see something really different?"

One girl said - "Hey, that's a really big can of Spam."

Back to the story, as the girls were leaving, a detective and two police officers come around and ask if we saw anyone running around back here, although this building has no functioning windows (there are some really high up, but that's it). "No, we didn't see anything" Should we be worried?

The detective looks around, "No, just let us know if you see anything suspicious."

"Weelll, " I replied, "Now that you mention it, there is a really big can of Spam in our parking lot."

Not a humorous post

This post is a downer of the worst kind. It will not make you laugh. So there, you've been warned.

We here in Milwaukee are recovering now from horror so unspeakable that I can barely type it. I guess it hits my family harder because we just returned, safe and sound Thank Gd, from the road trip.

For the factual Milwaukee Journal article follow this link. http://www.jsonline.com/news/metro/jul05/338123.asp
For the rest of the story, continue here.

My friend, Debbie Rennert, was killed early Friday morning in an accident on the highway. The van, her husband was driving, loaded with kids, driving up to camp in the mountains in NY and a family wedding, rear ended a semi on the Skokie hwy, route 41, Highland Park, and she was killed instantly. Her children and husband survived without much harm. Debbie left 10 children here on this earth. The youngest is a boy 4 months old. The oldest is a boy in his 20s, the rest are girls.

The funeral was in Milwaukee last Sat. night, which started around 11:30 at WITS. My husband and I, and our oldest son who goes to school there and Fudge, who is friends with the girls. 7 of the 8 girls were there, the toddler and infant were left with the babysitter. On a horrible scale of 1-10 this was about a 15.


7/12/05 Update
The Rennert Family is due back in Milwaukee today. I am told that they are all doing better and we as a community are preparing for their return. I have been asked to post the following links for people who are able to help of contribute.
The website, http://www.kerendevorah.org/ has hespedim, the Milwaukee Levaya audio, etc. concerning the passing of Mrs. Debbie Rennert.
Keren Devorah Fund
c/o WITS
3288 N. Lake Drive
Milwaukee, WI 53211

8/3/05
This blog has been editted. Shoshim has past, and it is time to heal. Everyone is finding a new normal, although it still has the feeling of a bad dream. I still turn around and expect to see Debbie smiling behind me, or hear a laugh and think it's her. Still trying to wake up from a bad dream. The kids are okay, talking, growing...... living. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on going. It's time to go on.