Tales from the Dark Side or yesterday's packer game
Notice the green font
Now for the yellow-----
This is because I am a packer fan and it is mandatory that we have green and gold on Monday morning - although that may be repealled before lunch, considering the circumstances.
I am not the first nor only person to state clearly and for the record that the Packers did not play well yesterday - actually, they didn't play yesterday, they just stood around and scratched their crotchs, except for Javon Walker, who got a lot accomplished. He cleared up exactly what his role is going to be in the offense of 2005.
Most people I know are surprised when they find out I like football. It wasn't really a lifestyle choice, more of a survival technique. When I was little and my mother worked on Sunday (actually she still does, it's a byproduct of having off on Saturday), my grandparents would load us into the car to go to the mall so Grandma could do her "shoplifting" (Not really, that's just a little joke).
While Grandma was off shopping we stayed with Grampa at Sears in the Television section (color), watching the game with the rest of humanity, whose wives were no doubt, also shopping precisely during the Packer game. Although I didn't know it at the time, it was not unlike a bar on a Monday night game, just slightly more sober.
Anyway, it was here that I learned all about football and I probably learned it from the best. I wondered what "off sides" meant, where there didn't seem to be any sides in particular that were "on sides", and clipping had nothing to do with a scissors, and my favorite "intentional grounding" which meant the other 900 passes that were incomplete were obviously unintentionally grounded. As a teenager, this penalty came to have a double meaning, but I digress.....
I also developed a healthy disdain for Da Bears and Da Vikings, although later when I moved to Chicago, my other grandfather taught me the proper reverance for Papa Bear Hallas and the respect for Sweetness, Walter Payton, and of course, the Refrigerator, William Perry. Anyway, during this time the Packers didn't have much of a team thing going anyway.
But now I am back in Wisconsin and Da Packers are a religion of to themselves. Most people who don't know my husband assume that he is a Packer fan, those that do know him, don't seem surprised that he can watch about as much football as he can baseball, or water polo, which is to say, not that much.
But they are more surprised to hear that I do like football, understand it, or even give a damn. Many a wedding and annual dinner have I spent in the hotel bar "getting an update" such that when the perennial "mincha" call came out, a few men suggested they could count me.
Actually, Curly was born during Monday night Football, 1993, Chargers vs Raider. True story - and one I probably don't tell often, but I saw the doctor earlier in the day and he told me I could go to the hospital anytime I felt ready. So naturally, I went home and did 4 loads of wash and cooked a big pot of noodles. Then I was ready. I checked in around 6 and my doctor saw me in the first quarter. I told him I was doing well. By the second quarter the game was heating up. I told the doctor to come back at halftime. Curly was born during halftime and I caught most of the last quarter.
To this day when I see Stan Humphries I get cramps.
Now for the yellow-----
This is because I am a packer fan and it is mandatory that we have green and gold on Monday morning - although that may be repealled before lunch, considering the circumstances.
I am not the first nor only person to state clearly and for the record that the Packers did not play well yesterday - actually, they didn't play yesterday, they just stood around and scratched their crotchs, except for Javon Walker, who got a lot accomplished. He cleared up exactly what his role is going to be in the offense of 2005.
Most people I know are surprised when they find out I like football. It wasn't really a lifestyle choice, more of a survival technique. When I was little and my mother worked on Sunday (actually she still does, it's a byproduct of having off on Saturday), my grandparents would load us into the car to go to the mall so Grandma could do her "shoplifting" (Not really, that's just a little joke).
While Grandma was off shopping we stayed with Grampa at Sears in the Television section (color), watching the game with the rest of humanity, whose wives were no doubt, also shopping precisely during the Packer game. Although I didn't know it at the time, it was not unlike a bar on a Monday night game, just slightly more sober.
Anyway, it was here that I learned all about football and I probably learned it from the best. I wondered what "off sides" meant, where there didn't seem to be any sides in particular that were "on sides", and clipping had nothing to do with a scissors, and my favorite "intentional grounding" which meant the other 900 passes that were incomplete were obviously unintentionally grounded. As a teenager, this penalty came to have a double meaning, but I digress.....
I also developed a healthy disdain for Da Bears and Da Vikings, although later when I moved to Chicago, my other grandfather taught me the proper reverance for Papa Bear Hallas and the respect for Sweetness, Walter Payton, and of course, the Refrigerator, William Perry. Anyway, during this time the Packers didn't have much of a team thing going anyway.
But now I am back in Wisconsin and Da Packers are a religion of to themselves. Most people who don't know my husband assume that he is a Packer fan, those that do know him, don't seem surprised that he can watch about as much football as he can baseball, or water polo, which is to say, not that much.
But they are more surprised to hear that I do like football, understand it, or even give a damn. Many a wedding and annual dinner have I spent in the hotel bar "getting an update" such that when the perennial "mincha" call came out, a few men suggested they could count me.
Actually, Curly was born during Monday night Football, 1993, Chargers vs Raider. True story - and one I probably don't tell often, but I saw the doctor earlier in the day and he told me I could go to the hospital anytime I felt ready. So naturally, I went home and did 4 loads of wash and cooked a big pot of noodles. Then I was ready. I checked in around 6 and my doctor saw me in the first quarter. I told him I was doing well. By the second quarter the game was heating up. I told the doctor to come back at halftime. Curly was born during halftime and I caught most of the last quarter.
To this day when I see Stan Humphries I get cramps.
posted by Mrs. Balabusta @ 6:27 PM
3 comments
