Scenes from the hallway

I have been working in the echo lab, which is a very interesting job in and of itself. One day I will tell you more about it. What I have to tell you about today is the hallway.

Across the hallway from the clinic is the cath lab. Not a great setup, but a cath lab has a great deal of inertia, and once planted doesn't move for at least 20 years. Some days I get to work and there is already a gurney outside in the hallway. There is a light above the main entrance to the lab that says "Room in Use" and a sign on the door that says "Don't use this door when light is on".

Some days I get to work and the gurney is already there and the light is already on. I like those days. Other days it isn't, which means the case hasn't started yet. Eventually you hear the commotion of the gurney and assorted rolling stands coming down the hallway, kids, parents. The woosh of the doors, the staff comes out with big smiles to greet the pt and family. Sometimes the pt is a baby and the gurney is just a crib.

Last week it was a full gurney with a girl, maybe 7-8 sitting up. They got to the doors. I heard the woosh and turned around. I saw this girl hugging her father and then she reached across the other side to hug her mother. "Mommy come with me!" the girl said. "It's okay, just don't touch anything," the staff said.
"Okay, Mommy's coming...."
Then woosh. The light goes on. About five minutes later mother comes back out and hugs father who is still standing in the hallway. Then they walk away. I go back to work.

With sleeping pts, you spend a lot of time in dark, quiet rooms, so you hear the hallway pretty well. I am very intuitive about voices and tones.
"Where's T.? They need her in the cath lab."
"I thought D. was in there."
"She is, they need T too."
"She's in back, I'll get her."
Then later I hear T's voice..."I don't get know, get 3 more units."

I recover my patient and go to eat lunch in the breakroom. T's got half a yogurt on her desk. My next patient comes, and goes and I notice the gurney is gone. T is back at her desk eating and taking messages off her phone. The crew is in the lab with the big carts. I don't know if I want to ask how it went, how it turned out, or if I would rather keep my doubts.

I decided I would rather keep my doubts.

Then another nurse came in and asked how it turned out. The girls was on the ropes for a while, but she came out okay.

I go home. Park in the garage. It's cold, the air is still, very quiet. Quiet in a way no one in New York has even imagined. Mentally and physically I walk from one world to another and back again. Still, I carry these things with me always.

It does well to remember that we are very fragile, intricate, beautiful beings and that tomorrow is promised to no one.

Tomorrow there will be another gurney in the hallway.